the last post

I moved to a better place.
see you soon.
thank you :)

money

tau ga bedanya SMA sama kuliah?
waktu SMA kayaknya wajar aja minta uang buat jajan, buat main, buat shopping, buat beli ini itu yang sebenernya ga penting. waktu kuliah masih minta uang juga buat makan, buat diktat, buat apakek apalah. bedanya waktu SMA rasanya gampang minta uang, ya tinggal bilang. sekarang biar deh badan makin menyusut, biar juga tiap minggu main paling jauh ke student center, biar pulang ke Bandung satu semester sekali. yang penting bisa nabung; yang penting gak sering minta-minta.


karena sekarang udah tau cari duit susahnya minta ampun.

when i think i'd never fall in love again

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I do not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

-Sonnet XVII, Pablo Neruda

disguise

Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside?
You will never measure up, to those people
You must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear

Are you waiting for the day
When your pain will disappear
When you know that it's not true
What they say about you
You could not care less about the things
Surrounding you
Ignoring all the voices from the walls

-nice song from Lene Marlin :)

aku ingin

Aku ingin mencintaiMu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaiMu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada

-Sapardi Djoko Damono

it would suffice :)

oxygen

to me, family are oxygen, friends are oxygen.
something that could burn my spirit and give me an energy :)
i mean it.
thank youuu i love you :*


i would die slowly if i lost them.

frozen

my life is really moving fast. sometimes i want to take a while to sitting and just writing, but i have no time. finally i have extras time to write :3 haha. who cares anyway? actually i should write a paper about food, feed, and fuel right now. but thing happens if you do not writing too long is your sense of writing is frozen :p soooo, i am in a proccess to melt it again :D